Is that my gut talking? Or indigestion?

Challenges of Discernment

There are definitely times when I get nervous about something, and it’s really hard to tell if that’s my gut saying there is actually something to be nervous about OR it is me needlessly worrying about something that is fine. I’ve been experiencing that for two days. So here’s what I’m trying to do to deal with it:

First, I try to think and logic through the situation that is concerning me. That doesn’t usually get me very far, but can provide at least some logical options for why everything might be just fine.

Next, I meditate. I try to settle into feelings of gratitude for all the wonderful things in my life.

But here’s what seems to work best for me: I say to myself—pretty convincingly, which helps—that everything is happening exactly the way it is supposed to happen. That things in my life are not happening TO me, they are happening FOR me. No matter what the scary or unsettling thing is, it will either work out the way I hope it will, or it won’t. And either way, I’m sure I can not only deal with it, but learn from it.

I also remind myself that fear is attractive, as Phil says to James in The Left Turn. In the moment of anger and grief James is experiencing, it doesn’t sound very nice. But fear attracts fear and looks for things that will justify it. We are always remembering and doing and noticing things that reinforce what we believe, and at the expense of remembering and doing and noticing all the things that contradict what we believe. So if I hold onto the worry, I think I’m more likely to experience something to be worried about. 

Snagged by My Own Thoughts

I think I just lived a perfect example of this. I was feeling uneasy about giving access to one of my accounts to a professional I’m working with. I want to trust him and I want him to be trustworthy. But there is this feeling of uncertainty because we’re doing something unfamiliar and have to trust those we don’t know well yet. 

I go to my email and see a message from my bookkeepers about some pending payments that need approval—thousands of dollars of pending payments to companies I never heard of. Yikes! Red flags wave, bells clang and sirens fill my head. What have I done?! What did he do?! Now what???

So I calm myself with: whatever it is just take one step at a time to fix it. I see the company names and call them to alert them to attempted payments with my card in an act of fraud. It’s way past business hours, so I left a voicemail. Meanwhile, I email the bookkeepers to find out what card they were charged to, because I went first to check for false charges on my cards but didn’t see any.

A couple minutes later the bookkeeper replies with an apology. That message was intended for a different client.

HAH! Got me. Now I can laugh at myself and note the reminder that we can bring all kinds of mess into our lives if we’re expecting it and afraid of it. And things can go smoothly when we expect that. This is one of the ways that meditation really helps me, because I can refocus more easily when I quieten my mind. Have you ever experienced anything like that?

Next Metaphysical Musings Event January 11, 2023

I hope you can join us for the next Metaphysical Musings zoom gathering. 6-7pm Pacific Time. Bring a friend if you like. I’d love to hear about your experiences and what you’re learning about the magic of life.